Sunday, November 01, 2009

life is likened to reading a book. having read up to this point, we now know how to best approach and prepare ourselves to read on for the chapters ahead.

i m sure that everyone of us has read a book before. life being so much like a book is the same reason why people write autobiographies and then lengthen these autobiographies with updates from time to time. we realise that, as we progress, page by page, chapter by chapter. things become more familiar. characters grow and develop. we begin to have a fuller and more complete picture. we attain greater understanding. and therefore, we can expect, anticipate and handle the events of the upcoming chapters.

so today on the cab home. i was kinda thinking.

apart from the God factor. wad made me all i m today? actually. failure has made me all i am today. everyday. i feel like an incomplete programme, patching myself day by day by day.

when did i make the decision to be sociable. it was in sec 3. why. cus i was always the quiet one in the group. the one hu always struggled to think of something to say. on occasions, where i did have something to say. i would never, out of fear that i would embarrass myself or sound stupid. my best frens at that time, marcus, jared. they were all social butterflies. time taken before change was visible. 2 years. conclusion. a wider social circle in jc. a more outspoken me.

when i went into army. i aspired to be a commander. my dream fell apart 3 days into bmt. why. the people were a far cry from those i knew and those i wanted to know. therefore, i was disgruntled, bitter, resentful. that made me accomplish nothing. in church. i asked myself. remember that bmt experience. remember how it felt. i told myself. u must never shy away from people again. u have ur preferences, but u must open up, interact with all. cus in ur hardest situations. u will always need the support of others. no man is an island and even if he was, theres always the risk of being engulfed by the tsunamis of life. time it took to realise that. one half years. conclusion. it was worth the while, the hardship and the awkward moments.

the experiences of yesteryear have influenced the most current decisions to make the not yet seen conclusions come to pass.

i always loved this song. always reminds me.

It feels like your life's crashing down all around you
Let me ask if it's really so bad
Look at the world in it's suffering
Can you honestly tell me that know one else could understand
All the hurting inside

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

A young child looks through a great stained glass window
Watching the people go by
Everyone seems to be wearing a red coat
His mother sees jackets in white
Now he can't understand why does she see it this way

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

Yesterday, you really couldn't see
By changing your angle a new world would be
Revealed to your once blinded eyes by moving a few degrees

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

Perspectives by Kutless

well i was telling reagan. i cant go all boom boom pow like i used to on her. i have to realise that there are somethings that i shud not say. cus shes not ready to listen. women were made emotional. and men were made to try and understand them.

honestly. with each passing hurt. i feel like my muscle for adversity is being stretched. all of us know. when we really work out. our muscles are bound to feel sore or they ll tend to ache. actually, its cus when we work out, our muscles get damaged, they bleed and swell. but they recover to become stronger and more resilient. recently. perhaps lifes been working me quite abit. i bleed, i feel broken, but i grow stronger.

today. for a moment. i entertained the possibility of being with someone else. my heart had violent objections. i know my dreams. and i know that, this, is definitely one of them. let me grow to be ur leader, ur king and ur priest. maybe in time, u ll be my support. cus while we together. i always thought u would complete me.

first time i served today. it was interesting. to see if i would take off just to chase. to see if i would pull a long face cus of my disappointment. but i stood first behind the material, with a smile and speaking to customers. my conclusion. i know wads important to me. but i know wad my priorities are. the same reason why after i was sure my work was done. the first person i wanted to meet, was you.

well. today i sat there. looking at one of the random books in attributes. i asked God. wad about her. God reminded me about Jehoshaphat. he was a man called by God with great potential, calling and exploits, however, close relationships with the people who did not fear God led to his downfall. God did tell him, but it was his choice in the end. so i kinda felt Him tell me, just care about her like u always would, but do ur thing and do the things that I want you to do and leave Me to take care of her and the rest. at the end of the day, wadever happens comes down to the choices that she ll make. and u can do nothing about it.

|cowpoo| 9:25 PM|

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